The Lost Hats
I grew up before television
And recall a radio show titled “The Land of Lets Pretend”
Everything that had ever been lost
Was being collected in that far-off land.
My mother was concerned.
I continually lost earmuffs.
The good news: It was late March
And warmer weather meant no earmuffs.
My current problem, with its twenty-year history,
Concerns hats, especially baseball caps.
I lose baseball caps at a rate of one per month.
I am awaiting a thank you letter from the cap industry.
When my time on earth is done,
I hope to be united with all the garments I disappeared.
When I include shirts, jackets, socks, et al,
Total loses are estimated at 2, 456.
They will not be happy to see me in that far-off land.
It’s possible that someone has lost more things then I have,
But, I think, it is not very likely.
Surely, I will decimate their inventory.
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