My Wall Lamp Is Bent

It’s not a severe angle

I can adjust the head

Thereby getting the reading light

The lamp is not the problem,

My indifference to the off angled lamp rests

On my one digit mechanical aptitude.

A replacement lamp would resolve the issue,

Assuming I can’t find a mate for my current one,

And not anxious to have unmatched wall lamps,

I’ll need to buy two.

Of course I can sort of ease the lamp

Into a close proximity of alignment,

And as long as I don’t touch it it will look OK. 

Sadly that will not light whatever I might be reading.

My Speaker Is Lousy

They’re squeaky, no real base.

Sometimes I wish for a far more enriched sound.

I’d like to call my condition masochistic,

An attempt to punish myself for all manner of sins.

At least that suggests a contemplative act.

Not true, mine is a contemptible slushy,

Embarrassingly lethargic, approach to

One of man’s great achievements.

This is not to say our music

Surpasses that of birds or sea creatures.

Maybe it just suggests exquisite sound is lost on me,

Or I won’t spend the money on better speakers.

A New Path

I different path would lead us to the same ends,

With little to show, or feel, for the change.

Houses on A Street look nearly identical

To those we customarily walk past on B.

Perhaps there are more shade trees

Or fewer people walking dogs?

Both streets are safe and well maintained

Yet I feel as though we have embarked

On a meaningful adventure

That would broaden my appreciation

Of things “alien and instructive.”

Robert Frost might have known

That it was his choice of the “other”,

Not it’s lesser use that mattered.

Dad's Education

Lou, my Dad, quit school before the 9^th grade.

His father tended to spend his money on cards.

Max, Lou’s older brother, did the same.

Dad put food on the table he shared with his Mom.

In time Dad owned his own business

And earned enough to allow

Me to attend a city college, 

But he could never recover his lost school years.

A truly sharp and well-dressed hat maker,

He never saw the places he should have reached.

I don’t recall his bemoaning an 8^th grade education,

But he gave space to college grad fools.

The Good People

Each would-be entry into the program got a “haircut”

Men, women, boys & girls. No baldy no admission.

You can’t sacrifice two weeks of hair?

You’re too invested in a very bad movie.

Exc. Director, Vinny Marino was tough and credentialed:

Years in prison, a patient in drug programs,

“last rights” 8 times, and staff treatment counselor.

The man was destined to run a substance abuse house.

He wanted me to chair the board.

I had business credentials, and like him, I was Brooklyn.

Of the other 8 board members,

3 gave time, 5 showed for photo ops.

The 6 member staff were all “credentialed”,

and that included lots of relapses.

All had a Brooklyn attitude,

A splendid cover for a shaky footing.

It comes from the “fish story”.

If you are in a poker game

And you can’t decide who the “fish” is

You have just found the “fish”.

I was often a fish,

And my vanity pushed my learning curve

Back to pre homo sapien.

I’m not sure I ever understood “the game”

An encounter game consisted of accusations.,

Loud and pointed, with cursing mandatory.

After 10 minutes of yelling everybody hugged.

My indifference to being fingered upset folks.

I can’t say I didn’t learn something.

The message I got?

“It’s all bullshit!

Trust no one.”

Did the boys and girls learn?

Some did, most reverted

when they hit the street.

One kid became a physician.

Holding Hands

I think it was the height difference.

If she were taller he would not have been as protective.

When you are six-three you could misplace

a date that was less then five feet tall. 

I imagine that was his excuse for taking her hand.

65 years later, and she has not been misplaced.

Turn The Knob Before Blasting the Door Down

I watched as my neighbor, Lois, held a garage sale.

Anxious to rid herself of yesterdays needs

Initial prices were set low.

I’d buy her very cheap broken stools

Provided I could achieve balance.

Serving as a shill, I portrayed myself as a would-be buyer

And extolled the incredible bargains she was offering.

“Wow, I saw a chair identical to that selling for $250.”

 I whispered to one lady hunter

(Lois was selling the chair I’d never seen for $40).

Within an hour Lois sold that chair and three mates,

To that lady hunter, for $100.and threw in a dresser.

I will not shill for Lois again.

She sold too low and my vig was peanuts.

Yesterdays Tires, Today a Death Notice

Yesterday Tires, Today a Death Notice                  

It’s so unfair,

I paid $603.10 for those four tires.

They are 2 days old.

Today my Internist tells me

“Sorry Jerry, you’re into your last months.”

What kind of amortization is that?

60,000 miles guaranteed on these four beauties.

Christ, I could have held off those tires.

600 bucks, damn!

It’s not the money, it’s the timing.

Nah, that’s pure bullshit?

Of course it is the fucking money.

You think I’m crazy, right?

I’m about to be dead

And I’m upset about $600?

I’ll get what, 2,000 miles?

You figger, you’re gonna die. Okay.

But new tires? The car will sell for bubkis,

With like new $600 tires.

God has this strange sense of humor.

Should I Not Wake In The Morning

I will wake in another place.

There will be no floor, or ceiling.

I will feel unchanged

And expect no entrance exam.

The space I occupy has no boundaries

It strikes me that I am not here,

At least the “me” that requires physical space.

I smile deciding that it is the “minds I”

That is the sole source and recipient

Of my monologue.

I will stay here.

What's In A Name

A conundrum:

We had a great business idea that needed a great name.

After hours we reduced the criteria to three elements:

Something reassuring, yet explosive and suggests the future.

For some reason there were no cheers.

Just Marvin and I voted to incorporate

Our next business adventure, under that epithet.

It’s 20 years, maybe 30, maybe 40.

We’ve long since forgotten our “awesome” business idea.

But that name, which bespoke

Strength, huge returns and “NOW”

Has yet to attach itself to a big spender.

Still I can see 10,000 locations with banners declaring:

TIP TOP URANIUM for Home Protection

It wipes out bugs, unwanted neighbors, in-coming missiles

And leaves your home spotless.

Next Time Around

I wandered into this life

Sans game-plan.

No paths or predilections.

I will prepare for the next life.

No more directionless enigma,

I shall go to the greenest grass,

Knowing that high rent grass equals better odds.

I will take elocution lessons.

I will travel to developing countries

And sleep rough… if necessary.

Maybe play Bridge professionally.

And I will write, write, write.

My current life has been good, better than I deserve.

I resolve to get my hands dirtier -next life,

And offer my hand sooner and more often -next life.

Maybe I can be 6’8” and play pro ball –net life?

The Cautious Liberal

It wasn’t my problem… not really.

Reasonable men could disagree.

Chuck had suggested we go to the rally.

I said, “I’d think about it”

“NO way!”

Is what I meant.

I’m a reasonable guy.

They’d have enough folks without me.

Besides, my cousin might stop by.

Thinking of Death

I have felt its presence once before.

That time I was aware of being stalked

As I followed a path along Kailua beach.

I turned abruptly, to confront an empty sand dune

That held no cause for alarm, and my concern faded.  

This time it was a thought process flowing from Ebola in Guinea

To an invasion of an unconquerable pestilence

That held no hostility,

merely a two day journey

From this life.

Inside Trading

Would you like to make a killing?

Imagine that you don’t receive critical news.

Rather, you are the sole source.

Eight people meet,

Each represents 1/8  of the year end results.

Seven know and announce their results.

The 8^th, me, is still pulling pieces together.

Mine is the largest and most variable.

Without it the business is stable, small profit.

When finished, mine showed a very heavy loss.

I knew nothing of insider trading

And decided to short the stock.

The good news? Nothing happened.

The stock never moved, and I broke even.

Why?

A major stockholder wanted a board seat.

He agreed to support the stock to get the seat.

For the three months after the announced “big loss”

He bought any stock put up for sale.

Moral: You don’t know what you don’t know.