The Funeral

A few of us went to Sid’s Funeral.
While not particularly close,
We all did volunteer work
For the same small businesses.

Parish priest, Father Joe,
Had never meet Sid,
And spoke of him
In a truly dull monotone.

Father Joe, noted Sid’s 168 bowling average,
His love of family,
Not withstanding that Sid had no family.
Droning on, Father Joe announced
He would now read from 2 separate notes,
Written by people who knew Sid quite well.

Father Joe was not a gifted reader,
But the humor in his recitation was delicious.
Not that he related humorous events,
It was his complete unawareness
That he was reading two completely disparate
Descriptions of the same deceased.

Having stumble through the first tribute,
Which informed of Sid’s love for animals,
And his connoisseur-like sensitivity to French wines,
Father Joe began the 2nd eulogy.

It was here we learned that old Sid
Had been a Budweiser devotee,
Fearful of Cats and Ducks,
And left money for animal experiments.

Whispering, to the friend seated next to me,
I noted Sid’s fall from 9.5 to 3.
3 signified excellent urine control
And no outstanding warrants.

Father Joe closed by offering all a beneficent smile.
Bowing his head, maybe in prayer,
He consigned Sid to his next big adventure.