"We'd like to repeat your mammogram".
"The tear will worsen. Joint replacement seems the best course".
"Deterioration has reached a level that the eye lens should be replaced."
ENOUGH!!!
I have my sense of humor, friends with whom I can argue,
A dog that I love, and a man who lovingly shares my life.
True, I have a litany of pains and problems
I'd just as soon be without.
I shan't speak of "beating my problems"
I will tell you there is much joy in my life.
Books of paintings to view, photos to create,
Calls to answer, presents to wrap and places to visit.
Yes, I'm angry! But that's not all of it.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Paul at 45
He will likely be bald soon, before 50.
It is not a perfect life, but then this not a perfect planet.
Paul has created a life that embraces his fondest wishes,
With the possible exception of playing guitar with the “Stones”.
A would be chemist at 14,
He still enjoys the potential of compounds,
Even as it reaches him through the efforts of others.
Far too soon we will likely reverse roles.
I will look to him for support.
And I think he will provide it.
Not withstanding moments of uncertainty
Paul has evolved.
Now he has opinions that he freely expresses,
Associates that regard his insights,
And friends who desire his company.
He can unequivocally announce “ he does not know”.
Making understanding far more possible.
He has a place at the table,
Which he fills almost comfortably.
(I’m grateful for the “almost”,
it allows for vulnerability).
A far better father than his father,
Possessed of strengths that have exceeded
My lofty expectations, while still leaving space
For a few fatherly complaints.
He is a joy!!
It is not a perfect life, but then this not a perfect planet.
Paul has created a life that embraces his fondest wishes,
With the possible exception of playing guitar with the “Stones”.
A would be chemist at 14,
He still enjoys the potential of compounds,
Even as it reaches him through the efforts of others.
Far too soon we will likely reverse roles.
I will look to him for support.
And I think he will provide it.
Not withstanding moments of uncertainty
Paul has evolved.
Now he has opinions that he freely expresses,
Associates that regard his insights,
And friends who desire his company.
He can unequivocally announce “ he does not know”.
Making understanding far more possible.
He has a place at the table,
Which he fills almost comfortably.
(I’m grateful for the “almost”,
it allows for vulnerability).
A far better father than his father,
Possessed of strengths that have exceeded
My lofty expectations, while still leaving space
For a few fatherly complaints.
He is a joy!!
Green, green grass
Looking west, the desert filled the limits
Of sight and imagination.
I turned to face the rising sun
And found a soft undulating green field
That started where my heels
Touched the demarcation of sand to grass.
There is a price we ought not to pay
To rid ourselves of the inconvenient sand.
What will limit us before the precipice?
Or are we agreed that some trades
Will have a small downside risk
That is well worth the gamble.
Who can stand outside the game,
Litmus in hand, ready to announce “STOP!”
In a voice that will be heeded?
How will we “green” the planet
If not one golf course at a time?
Of sight and imagination.
I turned to face the rising sun
And found a soft undulating green field
That started where my heels
Touched the demarcation of sand to grass.
There is a price we ought not to pay
To rid ourselves of the inconvenient sand.
What will limit us before the precipice?
Or are we agreed that some trades
Will have a small downside risk
That is well worth the gamble.
Who can stand outside the game,
Litmus in hand, ready to announce “STOP!”
In a voice that will be heeded?
How will we “green” the planet
If not one golf course at a time?
Reaching the End
We are just about there!
Space crafts have visited other planets,
Robots march toward some form of consciousness,
You can address the world,
(Although the world might not care).
Today I received news of tomorrow.
Not a prediction, but a statement of fact.
Kaiser Permanente advised me, at 10 this morning,
That my prescription was sent tomorrow.
I immediately called my stock broker,
If Kaiser could tell me about tomorrows events,
There was a chance my broker had similar insight.
Alas, neither he, nor my bookie knew the secret.
Surely my physician could tell me if I would pass
Before I received my prescribed elixir?
He suggested therapy.
Space crafts have visited other planets,
Robots march toward some form of consciousness,
You can address the world,
(Although the world might not care).
Today I received news of tomorrow.
Not a prediction, but a statement of fact.
Kaiser Permanente advised me, at 10 this morning,
That my prescription was sent tomorrow.
I immediately called my stock broker,
If Kaiser could tell me about tomorrows events,
There was a chance my broker had similar insight.
Alas, neither he, nor my bookie knew the secret.
Surely my physician could tell me if I would pass
Before I received my prescribed elixir?
He suggested therapy.
Anthems
A rousing, visceral, “Star Spangled Banner”
Reverberated throughout capacious Symphony Hall.
200 Musicians performed our national anthem.
To a standing audience of 4,000.
A triumphant, proud statement,
Proclaimed progress over forces seeking
To dominate our “United States”.
Without pause, so that attendees
Had no opportunity to sit,
The Israeli Philharmonic Orchestra
Proceeded with their own anthem, “Hatikvah”.
Played in a minor key,
Plaintively painting an ineffable sadness,
A plea for peace and acceptance.
A strange juxtaposition.
Color one anthem bright red, the other soft gray.
A metaphor of a ship battling victoriously through the night,
Compared with an abstract of ascending , but sober, softening tones.
One portraying a mighty struggle,
A new nation, brave and victorious.
Contrasting with the other,
Beseeching the heavens for a safe home.
Two voices, two messages.
One carried the hopes of youth
The other reflected a calamitous history.
Neither will pass quietly into that long night.
Reverberated throughout capacious Symphony Hall.
200 Musicians performed our national anthem.
To a standing audience of 4,000.
A triumphant, proud statement,
Proclaimed progress over forces seeking
To dominate our “United States”.
Without pause, so that attendees
Had no opportunity to sit,
The Israeli Philharmonic Orchestra
Proceeded with their own anthem, “Hatikvah”.
Played in a minor key,
Plaintively painting an ineffable sadness,
A plea for peace and acceptance.
A strange juxtaposition.
Color one anthem bright red, the other soft gray.
A metaphor of a ship battling victoriously through the night,
Compared with an abstract of ascending , but sober, softening tones.
One portraying a mighty struggle,
A new nation, brave and victorious.
Contrasting with the other,
Beseeching the heavens for a safe home.
Two voices, two messages.
One carried the hopes of youth
The other reflected a calamitous history.
Neither will pass quietly into that long night.
A Moment
“The twin Towers have been hit”
My sister screams from her NY home.
Such a beautiful day, now a nightmare.
People are falling, hitting ground with innocuous sounding thuds
I view the horror
From the safety of my California home,
Such a beautiful day, the birds are singing,
But buildings are falling.
The towers fold into themselves
Exhausted from the fight to stand.
Such a beautiful day, picnics suspended
Firefighters and policemen are gone, unable to save themselves.
What of our beliefs?
Did something fundamental change?
Will we become fearful,
Less certain of our floors presence when we awake?
We join hands,
With growing awareness that
We have become one.
The President speaks with conviction.
We are ready. Desperately ready
To share in the battle to come.
Needing commands to pay more, use less,
Fight, Sacrifice.
A magnificent spirit.
Millions of people ignoring,
For the moment,
Self.
Did whites, blacks, Jews and Catholics,
Did all Americans, for just that instant
Share the pain, fear and rage?
The potential, breathtaking.
Far beyond the call of Kennedy’s assassination,
This moment stretched for days.
The rabble and the rich, equally roused,
Entered a transformed universe. For that moment we understood
The course of reason, and its limitations.
Soon enough we will loose the dogs,
We have the victims blessings.
The moment, that extraordinary,
Terrible moment, when we knew evil,
Shared an epiphany
That elevated our consciousness,
Enabled us to define the “other”,
And feel destiny would be calling.
That call never came.
Deprived of the terrible glorious dream,
Where all things were possible,
We returned to our lives.
I visit the space that called us together.
Read the heartrending pleas and poems
That should have been immortalized along with the ruins.
Such a beautiful day, such a terrible day.
My sister screams from her NY home.
Such a beautiful day, now a nightmare.
People are falling, hitting ground with innocuous sounding thuds
I view the horror
From the safety of my California home,
Such a beautiful day, the birds are singing,
But buildings are falling.
The towers fold into themselves
Exhausted from the fight to stand.
Such a beautiful day, picnics suspended
Firefighters and policemen are gone, unable to save themselves.
What of our beliefs?
Did something fundamental change?
Will we become fearful,
Less certain of our floors presence when we awake?
We join hands,
With growing awareness that
We have become one.
The President speaks with conviction.
We are ready. Desperately ready
To share in the battle to come.
Needing commands to pay more, use less,
Fight, Sacrifice.
A magnificent spirit.
Millions of people ignoring,
For the moment,
Self.
Did whites, blacks, Jews and Catholics,
Did all Americans, for just that instant
Share the pain, fear and rage?
The potential, breathtaking.
Far beyond the call of Kennedy’s assassination,
This moment stretched for days.
The rabble and the rich, equally roused,
Entered a transformed universe. For that moment we understood
The course of reason, and its limitations.
Soon enough we will loose the dogs,
We have the victims blessings.
The moment, that extraordinary,
Terrible moment, when we knew evil,
Shared an epiphany
That elevated our consciousness,
Enabled us to define the “other”,
And feel destiny would be calling.
That call never came.
Deprived of the terrible glorious dream,
Where all things were possible,
We returned to our lives.
I visit the space that called us together.
Read the heartrending pleas and poems
That should have been immortalized along with the ruins.
Such a beautiful day, such a terrible day.
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