I Definitely Pissed Off Some God

I’m here, it’s 8 AM, where the hell is Morris?

I catch him at home. He had called and emailed.

I had not checked last night’s calls or emails.

He apologized. I am magnanimous.

Noon at the library and no Toni.

No answer on her phone. This day is not going well.

I am unhappy.

How sure am I that we agreed to noon?

1 PM I go for coconut milk at a small grocery.

They have the milk.

Expiration date: four days ago. It is selling below market.

I suspect a not so subtle plot.

Walk to the carwash. It’s 1:30.

Drive home and find a small cell-phone near my car seat.

It is not my phone. Drive back to the car wash.

They had found the phone, and put it near my car seat.

Some nasty God is having a jolly time at my expense.

Is that his/her fiendish smile in the separating clouds?

So far, nothing life-threatening,

But the day is barely half finished.

What Happened?

50 years without improvement!

Is that possible?

Only if you live in a different universe,

One with flexible time.

How can a 43 year old be a 50 year problem?

Only if you’re really bad at math,

Or the gears are wearing down

And the engineer doesn't remember how to change them.

It's kind of funny,

If you’re observing from a safe distance,

Say the other side of the room,

Less humorous if you’re the engineer.

Observing aberrant calculations

When it's your blackboard and chalk,

Attests to a certain fragility of process

And suggests giving up chess for checkers.

There is nothing wrong with checkers.

It uses the same board as chess.

Of course the pieces are not as diverse

But it's a nice way to idle away a day.

The 7% Formula

Alas, my distant, ancient cousin, Sherlock,

He of the inflated ego, suffered from a drug addiction.  

I too have a 7% problem that causes me much grief.

I am 93% short of a perfect score in mechanical aptitude.

The same applies to my care and maintenance of plants.

Employing my mastery of special dynamics

I found room for 250, 50-pound motors in a small rental truck.

I knew there was a cargo size limit. It concerned available space.

I had made no assumptions as to weight limit.

If it fit, it was good to go…right!??

Sixty miles later, I called the rental company, the truck was junk.

It had caught fire for no apparent reason.

They just didn’t know how to make quality trucks.

While living in San Francisco I almost made a breakthrough.

My dusting and watering of a large cactus was showing results.

Not too much water, and regular, delicate, dusting was working.

Two months later my wife advised me there was a problem.

The plant was not the living, growing kind.

Water was close to overflowing its ceramic home.

Letting Go

Money was missing. $25 short. Allowing for varying degrees of

Senility, it’s almost a certainty that someone forget to ante.

That was last month’s problem. Last night a new system was

installed. Everyone deposited their $25 into the cash jar, and

recorded the fact in a permanent ledger.

One-liners followed:

         What about fingerprints?

         Should there be an independent audit?     

         How about counterfeits?

Finally we all settled into our low stakes game,

everyone but Dick. His unhappiness stemmed from the original

lack of concern when, as the big winner last month, he absorbed

the $25 shortfall. Why hadn’t anyone suggested the loss be split?

His real question was “Where’s the love?”

Not unlike the best and the worst of us, an uncertainty hides within

And whatever your beliefs and  personal strengths, our little child

Is forever on guard, looking for approval, fearing slights.

In Dick’s case he climbed out of his pit when he was ready

to consider that he was just one of the guys who had not thought of

splitting the shortfall.

The Truth

A child can do it… until she turns three.

And that’s where the possibilities stop.

Perhaps a partial exception for the senile is in order.

They can’t be that rude, without stumbling on a vicious truth.

As for you and me …hopeless.

Who will you hurt?

Will I be displaying intolerance?

It’s too dangerous!

If you believe you speak the truth,

There’s a chance you will not roast in hell,

Just simmer on a higher ledge,

Since it was not your intention to mislead,… right.?

I think of truth as a star, a million light years away.

It may exist, but I could only confirm

The day and time I saw what might have been.

Leaving both the star and the truth untouchable.

Runaway

Wherever you run, there you are!

There you might be introduced to the ocean,

Or a large friendly dog who would like you to throw a stick.

Will you find more sunshine or warmer days?

Can you make the same mistakes and hope for a different endings?

Why not?

Can you change for the better? Wrong question.

Right question: Will you be happier?

Power On The Home Front

It was slow developing, fiendishly planned,

And altogether unstoppable when executed.

We’ve dealt with their kind before,

But had never met with such subtlety.

Harmless little suggestions,

An occasional cute case of overreach,

Easily attributed to a mistaken belief  

We might be saved a possible inconvenience,

Or something far worse, like a frontal attack

By vicious people or killer animals.

It is sad, very sad that we have allowed

Our lives to be trashed by these upstarts.

To have a ten and thirteen-year–old

Take over our lives has been our ruination.

I offer this warning:

Never, never allow two yapping dogs to gain control.

Of Cats, Weeds and Cars

Having failed twice at recalling three one-syllable words, I salvaged a third try. It's two hours since my successful effort and, as you can see from the title of this piece, I continue to retain “cats, weeds, and cars.” Was it the creation of the line “A cat sat on the car, eating weeds” that allowed me to retain those three words? I don’t know.  But a win is a win, even if it’s pyrrhic.  

I remembered cats, dogs and weeds when I returned home, without my red jacket from my visit with Andy and Dee. The day before I had forgotten the red jacket at my favorite coffee stand. It was still there five hours later. If I have a buried wish to lose my red jacket it has never succeeded .

When, at dinner with my friend Alex, a year my senior, I bear witness to his evolution. Alex is not always aware of events that pass within hearing or viewing range. Destinations are easily forgotten, and choices from a simple menu can become confusing.

Soon, very soon…maybe now, Alex needs a controlled environment. As for me, I know where I can get helium.

In the meantime:

I will leap for the ball, and find my toes haven’t left the ground,

I will write a letter to the local paper, compose another poem,

And search for names and words that escape my grasp.

Easy Does It

When the leaders of the civil rights movement adopted the tactics of Mahatma Gandhi our world changed. In1960 and 1961 many thoughtful whites believed that blacks would eventually win their place at the table, but it would take time and patience.

It took civil disobedience, and the response to sit-ins that moved both Kennedy and the country to the realization that blacks were getting treated as things that belonged in the back of the bus, and the time for change was now.

We have now, as a country, moved away from some forms of discrimination; lynching of blacks rarely occurs. Unfortunately, we have added a sanctified form of an economic caste system. Western history is replete with comparable mass exploitation, some less cruel then others, but all with the same goal; “I wish to be pharaoh”.  Times have been worse, but without a Gandhi, Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela it is hard to see a path to a Citizen government.

A Wish List For the Dying

A Wish List For the Dying               

If the subject has changed we can still recognize the location.

We are back at our favorite table, on the patio of the Hotel Del Coronado

Both the weather and our surroundings insist on good-fellowship. 

We have a rational discussion on an irrational subject.

Andy’s brother, Peter, a former a minister joins us.

Past Sundays he delivered earnest calls for good deeds and joy.

Today we three consider Andy’s imminent passing.

Earlier the brothers had considered what sort of service

Andy would wish to have.

My guess: He would wish for none..

Andy does not hold to any belief that transcends this life.

He is still involved with today, his friends and family.

Peter prefers that Andy’s passing be marked by deep recognition.

His eulogy would present the physician, who served his patients,

His community, and those closest to him.

Andy fully understands that a tribute might well serve the living.