He asked me for a dime, seemed sober and cleared eyed.
Thinking I had no change, I shook my head.
One step later, stopped at a traffic light,
I found 2 dimes in my jeans.
Turning, I saw the beggar a few feet away, asking folks awaiting a bus,
If they had spare change.
I started to’rd him, the 2 dimes in my hand.
“What am I doing?”, I thought.
Having failed to check for change initially,
I’m now going to give this guy 2 lousy dimes!
Maybe cap that with "have a nice day."
I stopped to rebuke myself.
“Come on, at least a buck, you cheap son-of-a bitch”
I belatedly reached for my wallet as a bus stopped
And watched as the street guy boarded & left.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Masks
Was there something I wished to say?
Something that might move the conversation in a gentle way,
to less safe subjects that might engage our table of six
and animate beyond the masks we had affixed
to ward off penetration beyond our skin,
so none could see the person therein.
Why was I here listening to this bore
who assumed her audience held secure
to the truth she had fitted as a garment tied in place
by repetition of a mantra at a mind-numbing pace?
Neither “flight” nor “fight” tore me free.
I failed to do more then let it be,
acting the coward by not “making waves”
reducing myself to the part of a slave.
As if I could not rise, ball my hand
and still the fool who had taken command,
letting chaos reach passion’s level
allowing decorum to go to the devil.
Something that might move the conversation in a gentle way,
to less safe subjects that might engage our table of six
and animate beyond the masks we had affixed
to ward off penetration beyond our skin,
so none could see the person therein.
Why was I here listening to this bore
who assumed her audience held secure
to the truth she had fitted as a garment tied in place
by repetition of a mantra at a mind-numbing pace?
Neither “flight” nor “fight” tore me free.
I failed to do more then let it be,
acting the coward by not “making waves”
reducing myself to the part of a slave.
As if I could not rise, ball my hand
and still the fool who had taken command,
letting chaos reach passion’s level
allowing decorum to go to the devil.
Move
Screams rising from the half enclosed small courtyard
Were not those of a child playing, nor an adult argument.
They were the sounds of agony, of a woman being stabbed,
Again and again.
120 apartments surrounded the court
Overlooking the scene.
57 people witnessed the attack.
“What to do, what to do?”
Walking from the girl,
Kitty’s attacker watched.
“Is my work finished?
“No voices? How odd!”, he thought.
We’ve given the body a name.
57 witnesses did not believe they knew her, …
At least not well.
“What to do, what to do”?
He came back to the body,
He did not know her name.
Blood seeping inexorably from under her
Created a silhouette.
He stabbed her again and again
Her cries, not screams now, barely reached
57 witnesses.
Nothing to be done.
And the street girls walked, dum di dum, dum di dum.
Waiting for the train
Walter started shaking uncontrollably.
A stranger’s arms wrapped Walter’s in a bear hug,
Lowering him to’rd the ground.
Walter resisted the stranger.
Arms and legs tearing the air
Trying to escape his accursed body,
Freeing himself, Walter toppled onto the tracks
The stranger leaped off the platform,
Stilling Walter under him.
The train past over them
Missing the stranger by a breath.
And the street girls walk, dum di dum, dum di dum.
Were not those of a child playing, nor an adult argument.
They were the sounds of agony, of a woman being stabbed,
Again and again.
120 apartments surrounded the court
Overlooking the scene.
57 people witnessed the attack.
“What to do, what to do?”
Walking from the girl,
Kitty’s attacker watched.
“Is my work finished?
“No voices? How odd!”, he thought.
We’ve given the body a name.
57 witnesses did not believe they knew her, …
At least not well.
“What to do, what to do”?
He came back to the body,
He did not know her name.
Blood seeping inexorably from under her
Created a silhouette.
He stabbed her again and again
Her cries, not screams now, barely reached
57 witnesses.
Nothing to be done.
And the street girls walked, dum di dum, dum di dum.
Waiting for the train
Walter started shaking uncontrollably.
A stranger’s arms wrapped Walter’s in a bear hug,
Lowering him to’rd the ground.
Walter resisted the stranger.
Arms and legs tearing the air
Trying to escape his accursed body,
Freeing himself, Walter toppled onto the tracks
The stranger leaped off the platform,
Stilling Walter under him.
The train past over them
Missing the stranger by a breath.
And the street girls walk, dum di dum, dum di dum.
Darwin’s Lament
Change
There is room to doubt.
Five years, a 1000 tests and more.
Sea shells at 4000 feet.
Sick days, weeks,
Oceans unending,
I should happily sail Julian’s pond
And never feel a ship’s rise and fall again.
I’ve seen time’s message.
In the mountains and valleys,
In the vast Oceans and tidal streams,
Life’s miracles visit us, but not by design.
Bugs, birds, animals, Man,
All, all that lives seeks survival,
Selects paths that offer a better chance.
Some prove viable, and the creature,
Newly enriched, endures.
How do I tell this truth,
When “the book” speaks of creation
As it never was?
My peopled universe
May find life without “the book”
Barren and meaningless.
There is room to doubt.
Five years, a 1000 tests and more.
Sea shells at 4000 feet.
Sick days, weeks,
Oceans unending,
I should happily sail Julian’s pond
And never feel a ship’s rise and fall again.
I’ve seen time’s message.
In the mountains and valleys,
In the vast Oceans and tidal streams,
Life’s miracles visit us, but not by design.
Bugs, birds, animals, Man,
All, all that lives seeks survival,
Selects paths that offer a better chance.
Some prove viable, and the creature,
Newly enriched, endures.
How do I tell this truth,
When “the book” speaks of creation
As it never was?
My peopled universe
May find life without “the book”
Barren and meaningless.
Courage
Courage: The willingness to embrace the Alien.
It was not the weather or the steps.
No fault was found with evil spirits
Or an ineffectual god.
Ray fell and he claimed the failure.
Face down in the grass
He thought his foot detached.
Fear and anger lay with him
Two days spent recovering from surgery,
In an Old Folks Storage dump
Masquerading as a “Rehab” center,
Followed by an abbreviated home stay
Re-entering the hospital,
His surgeon pointing to the infected leg,
Indicated that “amputation” could not be ruled out.
I entered Ray’s room dressed in a hospital shroud,
To find Ray and Carolyn speaking in tongues.
“He would avoid the longer wait for recovery” she rationalized.
“ If its necessary, let s get it done”, Ray added.
“Wait, wait a goddamn minute!” I thought.
I could not stand their stoicism.
Peering over the edge,
Recognizing that the diabolically sponsored infection
Was insidious and relentless,
Carolyn and Ray, those infuriating rationalists,
Are keepers of the word.
It was not the weather or the steps.
No fault was found with evil spirits
Or an ineffectual god.
Ray fell and he claimed the failure.
Face down in the grass
He thought his foot detached.
Fear and anger lay with him
Two days spent recovering from surgery,
In an Old Folks Storage dump
Masquerading as a “Rehab” center,
Followed by an abbreviated home stay
Re-entering the hospital,
His surgeon pointing to the infected leg,
Indicated that “amputation” could not be ruled out.
I entered Ray’s room dressed in a hospital shroud,
To find Ray and Carolyn speaking in tongues.
“He would avoid the longer wait for recovery” she rationalized.
“ If its necessary, let s get it done”, Ray added.
“Wait, wait a goddamn minute!” I thought.
I could not stand their stoicism.
Peering over the edge,
Recognizing that the diabolically sponsored infection
Was insidious and relentless,
Carolyn and Ray, those infuriating rationalists,
Are keepers of the word.
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