Leaving New York

January ended nasty & windy that year,
Precursor to an exemplary February 1.
I was an uncomfortable passenger
Looking at a metallic sky

The plane’s engines roared Beethoven’s Fifth.
We were set to leave New York
Not to come back for years,
Then only as tourists.

The city had defeated me
(An AA member entering a bar
Had the same chance of keeping sober.)
I had come to dislike myself.

Living in a monolith that subsumed me.
Pushing feverishly at the surrounding walls.
Faced with a conspiracy of gigantic buildings
Eradicating the sun’s light,

Night as we cross America
No sleep, too busy keeping plane aloft.
The evil eye waits.
Can’t afford to slacken my diligence.

The subway seemed a place to panic.
Get on before they close the door
YOU WONT MAKE IT
PUSH, FOR GODS SAKE, PUSH

I’d never traveled on a jet.
Alert & ever watchful
Some funny noises
Do they realize how fast we are going?

Mine was not an inability to function
Rather, my acceptance,
That I was to spend my life
Fulfilling someone else’s dream.

Checking my watch every 10 minutes,
On an eleven hour flight.
I have another drink.
Listening for changes in the engines rhythm.

There had been good days,
Softball in Central Park.
A resolution of an accounting problem.
(Points, if you did not use too much paper.)

We’ve cleared the coast. Looking for Hawaii.
So small on the map.
How will they find it?
Will the Pacific swallow us?

The work got better, more challenging.
But not the pace.
You can’t possibly wait for the light to change
Or the noise to lessen.

Hours to go.
We are experiencing turbulence
Surely He will recognize my intentions,
And secure my passage, maybe?

I fantasize a place away
Far from the woman who chooses
To wash the halls and elevator.
Time to risk and reach

It is 1 AM and we deplane.
The breeze is soft and warm.
Pineapple juice flows from a fountain
All rehearsed for my arrival